Several of my family and friends are having babies this year and I’m kind of jealous. I really want a child even though now isn’t the best time for my husband and I. We want to get our financial situation in order, not that it’s in bad shape, and our house built. I have all these logic reasons in my head why we should wait but I still can’t help but want a child of my own. I’m terrified that we will wait to late and it will be impossible to have children. Or that we will be old parents and not able to enjoy our children. But my husband isn’t ready. I and but he’s not and I struggle with that daily. Is that selfish of me? I feel like it is. I can’t talk to him about it because he either gets mad or shuts me down. How do I deal with this? The only thing I can do is wait but sometimes I want a baby so bad it hurts. I dream about being pregnant often, usually at least once a week. I even have baby names and nursery themes already picked out. I’m just in my early twenties and have time but I just really want a child. I have over 400 pins on Pinterest related to baby stuff. My husband and I would both make great parents and I want my child to grow up close to his or her cousins like I did. But on the other hand there are a million things we want to do before we have children. we want to take cruises and see what we can of the world.
I just need to let go, and let God.